The human brain is quite an amazing thing. Sophie remains to be in her hyper-vigilant, disocciating, fight or flight mode a good majority of time. Kind of coming in and out of that mode all day long every day...depending on what(or who) is going on around her.
Now, she will be 4 years old in just a few months. Every time we have an appointment somewhere...we get the questions about whether she knows how to do this, that, and the next thing...which are all typical of kids her age. My answers are most often, "no".....and "I am not worried about it either as she needs to heal emotionally before her ABC's or 123's make a difference". She had a check-up with the pediatrician a week ago and again we were asked if she could draw a circle and if she knew some colors and if she knows the difference between he/she. These were 3 year old goals and she is almost 4. All "no"'s.
Our pediatrician(also an adoptive Mom) had to inform me that the reasons they have these very basic milestones is to know whether there are some neurological issues going on that need to be addressed. Well, yes...there are...but not in the same way that a child who has not PI(post institutionalized). I told her that I see down under...that one day when she is healed from her traumas...one day...she will be just fine. I see the light under the issues. But the healing has to come first. She...in all of her wisdom and experience...agreed.
We spend lots of time with her on colors as that is usually one of the first and easiest things to teach a child. A year later and still...nada zilch. Would you know...one day last week...she was able to name 4 out of 5 colors I asked her! She could not name one last week and then boom.
We do not let her use scissors yet because of some of her destructive behaviors....well, you will notice(in the picture above) that the bangs that I have been growing out over the last year...are gone. They were the same length as the rest of her hair and she chopped off a good 5 inches the other day while I was at work. My family tried to cheer me up by saying that she cut them quite straight seeing as she does not use scissors....and she did. But that did not help cheer me up...I was most unhappy about that. Any of you that have grown out bangs know what a hassle that is and now we are back to square one!
She only wants to scribble when she has crayons...which is daily. She sits next to Ella every day and watches her draw pictures of all sorts of things. She just scribbles. Ella knows her alphabet and writes all of her letters and is trying to sound out words. Sophie has NO interest in any of that...and that is fine. She scribbles away and we let her. I think it is actually a soothing type of activity for her.
Well, this morning we had Chinese class and the kids learned words about family. They were then asked to draw a picture of their family. Ella starts out drawing her very detailed people and I see Sophie look over at Ella's picture once or twice. I then hear one of the Mom's say..."look at how Sophie is drawing people..can you do that?" I thought...what in the world? I walk over to see the picture you will see below. WHERE did that come from? LOL!!!
So, things are getting through...there is a light underneath the issues and one day...the diamond will shine!!!
Oh, and please do not take this as I am worried about her not reaching these milestones...I truly am not....at all. I know the healing is way more important and that is where our focus is.
It is a BEAUTIFUL day here today on the East Coast! Hope your week-end is a good one!!!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
posted at 10:45 AM