Friday, November 20, 2009

Virtual Twins

What are Virtual Twins? Virtual twins are biologically unrelated children born within nine months of each other who enter a family, through birth or adoption.

Ella and Sophie are sisters who were born only 8 weeks apart. They are Virtual Twins.


After Ella came home to us, we knew that we wanted her to have a sister. Chelsea and Ryan are much older than her and we wanted her to have someone to grow up with. Equally important to us was that she have a sister that shares her heritage.


My first thought when we were in the process of adopting the second time.....I wished to adopt a little one the same age as Ella. I work full time and just thought that it would be more practical(daycare wise) to have the girls both start school at the same time. I thought how nice it would be for them to have one another as playmates and so on.


Well, as I read what the "experts" opinion of this was...virtual twinning is not recommended. They have a whole list of reasons why they discourage it. But then, I started chatting with other parents of virtual twins....people who can honestly give an opinion through experience. I did not talk to one family who had a negative experience with virtual twins. So, as with our first adoption...I put it in God's hands and along came our Sophie! Just 8 weeks younger than Ella.


The first couple of months home together were ugly. Ugly. But, I again turned to other parents of virtual twins and many of them went through the same thing initially. They all promised than no matter how bad things were....they would get better. And they did.


My girls may be the same age, but they are as different as night and day. They each have their strengths and weaknesses and are fully aware of what they are. Where one is weak, the other is strong and compensates for their sister's weakness and vice versa. They compliment one another perfectly. They have a very special bond. Ella is just 8 weeks older, but since she is more mature and larger in size...she is "the big sister". They are both in agreement with this! I tell them they are the same age, but they have it worked out their own way....which is fine!


Do they always walk hand in hand in adoration of one another? Of course not! Ella sometimes enjoys quiet play with her imagination. Sophie does not ever give Ella personal space and sometimes Ella needs that space. So, you can imagine where that goes. But for the most part, they truly enjoy playing with one another and do so most of the day. If one is not here, the other is a bit lost waiting for her sister to return. I love nothing more than watching them run around playing together and love even more to listen to their conversations with one another!


When they watch TV....there are 2 large couches and some chairs to sit on in our TV room....but this is how I always find them when they watch TV. Curled up right next to one another! I love it! Ella is covering her ears here because she does not like a noise coming from the TV!


As I looked through my pics for sister pics...I have hundreds of them. I just picked a few and then had to stop myself. lol! Have a wonderful week-end and Be Blessed!!!!



Carmen said...


What a sweet post. Makes me sad for my daughter that will never have that special bond with a sister. But she does have friends from China and they call themselves sisters and they are like sisters when they get together.

What a blessing the girls are.

Kennedy and Jaida's mom said...

Hi Michelle, Thank you for a great post! I have two daughters adopted from China, born 25 days apart. Our first daughter came home at 10 months (Feb. 2007) and our second daughter came home at 3 years old (Feb. 2009).

You described our experience perfectly!! It was UGLY upon our return home and now, 8 months later, it is wonderful. They are best friends and typical sisters!

I got your blog address from the virtual twins yahoo group. I look forward to reading more!


Shawnstribe said...

Oh Michelle, i just long for our youngest to have a lil sib!!!!!
Oh Lord bring her soon!!!!
You are a genius my friend!!!
X X's finding day Nov 9th, adoption day Dec 3rd, coming up to 2nd year!!!!
I think you have cracked it
Thank you so so so very much

Shawnstribe said...

ps i am so excited that i forgot to say, what a special post, i have a soft spot for twins ; ) and yours are so very precious

Robin said...

This post and all those beautiful photographs made me cry tears of joy. May their bonds of love and sisterhood grow ever stronger and sustain them throughout their days, wherever their paths take them.

redmaryjanes said...

Eli and Sophia are virtual twins and they are a perfect pair. They love each other very deeply and truly are a unit. They have their moments like all brothers and sisters, but most often you will see them so very happy to be together.

Suzy said...

I love seeing your daughters. Thanks for sharing the pictures and the stories. Maybe someday my little Lydia will have a sister, too. You know, if God provides a MAJOR intervention ; )

Kim said...

What a special bond they share together! Beautiful post!!

Laura L. said...

What a great post. It's so sweet to hear about their relationship. So heart-warming.
Two precious girls. Thanks for sharing!

Doug and Terrye said...

How sweet! My sister and I are 4 years apart, and we did NOT like each other until we became friends! A lot of it has to do with the parenting, and I just don't think age is the issue. I'm thankful that you have your two precious "virtual twins." :)

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

What a great post, Michelle!

You could have been posting about my toddler duo...its the same way over here.

All the pics are adorable! I love your beautiful girlies...and I love you too! :)

Colleen said...

This is a beautiful post Michelle! I love seeing the photos of the girls together. I have to say it really touched my heart and makes me wish that Faith had a sister or sibling closer in age to share such special moments with. Sigh.
Have a wonderful week-end!!!!!!

The Byrd's Nest said...

Ugh...I am so behind on your blog. Oh my I am just in because you know I have virtual twins too (six weeks apart) and they love each other so much....but of course...not ALL the time! Two...since starting school they are not as close as they used to be. They seem to have their own friends and they don't need each other for everything. I really didn't want this to happen this soon:( Although, when we get to Mexico and I am homeschooling....I feel this will change back. I love the last picture of them on the couch. I love to see little Sopie clinging to someone she truly loves. I love you for being their amazing Mommy.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Love the pic..
Love ya girly..

Football & Fried Rice said...

What a wonderful post about your beautiful girls!! Thank you for taking the time & heart to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly ;) But overall the WONDERFUL bond your girls have! Makes me long for a sister for Mya!!

Sharon said...

Michelle, I LOVE this post! You said it all so perfectly. Our virtual twins Brinley and Bailey adore each other most of the time but then there are the days when one needs some space and the other just doesn't understand. I hope your post will open the eyes of many families to the pure joy of virtual twins.


Dori's Mommy (Diana) said...

Great post! Special sisters!!

Kristin said...

Oh Michelle,
What a sweet post! My girls are 14 months apart....and while it took months, they are now each others best friends..and best enemies!

I am so glad we adopted a sister for Anna Grace. After AG's process was started, I knew we'd be going back again. For the same reasons you shared. No one else in my family kne that at the time, but I did!

I think having two close in age is an amazing thing. Yes, we have conflicts and rivalry, but they are best friends too.

Have a wonderful week!! I hope you have all four kids home with you like I do!

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness, Michelle, that is such a sweet post. What a special bond they share. I watch my girls together and feel that I have missed out on so much by not having a sister. How wonderful that you followed your heart and God's lead, even when the "experts" say it is not wise. (They say no against adopting out of birth order, too!)

I loved all of the pictures that you posted - especially the one of them holding hands facing the Christmas tree. I'm such a sucker for a handholding picture. :)

Have a great week!

trina said...

Awww...your pictures are so precious. I know they are not "identical" but really, they look so much alike. Many tell me that Benjamin and Hudson look like "brothers"(they mean 'bio'). They really don't look much alike but it's fun dressing them alike and I love having their hair the same. It's so fun. Your girls are beautiful and precious as can be! I love having 'twins' (5 days less of a year apart).

Tiffany said...

LOVE This post.... it sounds so very familiar!!!!!!

I was just catching up on your other post and was sorry to hear that Ella had the swine flu and that you weren't feeling well either. I hope everyone is feeling better now!!!!

April said...

I love this post. Although Eliana and Willow will not be virtual twins they are close at 13 months apart. I really hope they have this close bond after time. This is the reason we wanted to adopt again and so soon. Really not excited about the months to come for us, but the years I am excited about.

GGAdventures said...

Michelle, what a wonderful post! I love how our girls have such true unconditional love for one another!! Like you, the beginning was tough. REAL tough. But they started to become great friends, and I would say just in the last few months I feel their bond just getting stronger and stronger. I love our "twinnies".
Give the littles a big hug. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your amazing family!

The Princess's Mommy said...

Wow....I needed this post today. It's amazing, isn't it, how God uses others to give us answers we have been seeking.....Thank you sweet friend.

Love you,

Don and Lisa Osborn said...

Thank you for sharing your testimony about virtual twins. The pictures actually say so much, too. Precious...

I am glad you didn't listen to the experts and did what made sense for your family. I am sure it is hard work but oh so rewarding, too, when you see them together...

Great post!!!


Leah Mei said...

Being the oldest of 3 sister, I find this a very emotional post. I am trying to convince my husband that Leah needs a sister her age. I can't begin to tell you how many times in my life having sisters was so crucial.

Jewels of My Heart said...

They are so beautiful... I love each picture of them, so precious. How thankful I am that they have each other and that they have you. Happy Thanksgiving friend

Patricia said...

love it... they are so so precious. Oh, can I have just one more!

ji said...

MIchelle, What a beautiful post!!! As a mother to "virtual twins" I can relate to everything you spoke truly is an amazing bond!

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

covnitkepr1 said...

What a beautiful family. It is easy to see that love lives there. Thanks for sharing. I am signing up for future posts. Thank you for sharing.

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